Improvements

Glory be, and Hallelujah!

Today Audrey's x-rays showed a lot of new bone growth! She has a new cast that only goes to her knee and not up to her mid-thigh. =0) She was traumatized by the experience today. She was crying/screaming when they removed the cast. She was upset that they ruined her pictures/signatures. And also panicked about the pain she thought she'd have. She's had multiple x-rays prior to this, but today she was crying/screaming through those too. When the Dr.- Dr. Figuroa, was examining her leg she was about to freak out about that too. He was very patient and kind to her and kept her very calm. This was probably the best visit we've had with the Dr.'s thus far. =0) The guy that put the new cast on Audrey was great too! She was really upset to have to give up the purple cast and was crying about it, but then he offered to do multiple colors, and she stopped crying. You could tell she was debating about her choices when she chose white! WHITE! Here is what I find cute. Another patient (a teenage girl) had come in with a white cast and it had colorful pictures all over it. This obviously put ideas in Audrey's head and thus she chose white. It's funny because the girl had a new cast put on (in the bed next to us) and she chose pink. =0) Audrey explained to the girl that pink casts hurt and that's why she chose something different. It was a cute moment. At least for a me- as her mother.

For the first 30 minutes or so Audrey refused to straighten her leg. Once we were home and she had the walker she's gotten a little more comfortable with the idea, and has even put a little weight on it. I am very excited for the progress she is making. I figure after this week I'll put her back in school. The Dr. doesn't want her putting a lot of weight on it for a week, so we'll have one last week of "taking it easy" and then we get back to reality.

Today has really been one of the best in a long time.

And baby makes 5...

Well it is official. I survived the first trimester of pregnancy without losing the baby to miscarriage. I have been on pins and needles. Kent baby #3 is due about mid-August. We are all so excited. I even heard the heartbeat today... 152 beats. Yeah!! Nice and strong. The mid-wife had a hard time finding it- this one's quite a mover, but boy did I feel relief once she did. =0)

We had Audrey's Dr. appt yesterday. After reviewing the x-rays, which looks like last weeks, (BUT with some new bone growth!!) the P.A. determined that surgery will more than likely NOT happen. =0) Also- we don't have to go back for 2 weeks, AND we can go to the San Marcos office! Boy did I like hearing that news. The only part I worry about is they have to remove the current cast, take x-rays, then depending on how those x-rays look, put on a new cast- maybe shorter, maybe the same. So probably another month of wearing a cast. (Boy was that a nasty break!)

My last post I asked the question what does motherhood mean to me. I have thought about it quite a bit. There is the generic answer of sleepless nights, comforting sadness, cleaning messes, etc. But then there is the deeper joy. It's your eyes tearing up watching the amazement on your little girls face when they watch Tinkerbell fly across the sky. It's enduring through your own heartache when you can't prevent a painful accident from happening. Motherhood is becoming a protective "mama bear" before you even know what the baby looks like or what sex the baby is. Motherhood, it's sacrificing yourself so that you can make your children's lives better. It's putting your selfish desires on hold, while you let your little one's desires be fulfilled.

I have had to listen to my mother struggle in dealing with caring for my sister as my sister deals with cancer. The anguish and turmoil that she faces with the slight possibility that her daughter could depart before her. I have watched, for a few years now, as my mother has tried to deal with another daughter who refuses to acknowledge who her real family is. These trials placed upon a mother are difficult to bear, and yet day after day, mothers around the world are fighting the fight. Why? Because there is something that happens to your soul when this tiny little being enters your world. You want nothing more than their happiness and well-being. It is a difficult road, not always appreciated. But the rewards you receive from your children, those are the moments you treasure. I have often wondered why my mother doesn't just let my sister go (the one that ignores us) but then I realize that would be impossible. This is her baby. This is her little girl. No matter how much hatred is thrown at you by your children, you take it. Why? Because you love them. Because you can't bear the thought of not having them, not creating any more memories with them. It's the hope that things will change and that love will overcome. It's the hope that maybe this year things will change. And who knows- maybe it will.

Last night I watched as my five year old made a card for her Daddy. It was a priceless moment. I also saw my three year old trying so hard to make her card perfect. How frustrating it was for her to be bound by the limited abilities of her age and experience. But the cards they made, those are the cards I love the most. Those are the moments you treasure forever. Those are the moments that make being a mother a great title. It really all comes down to love. Motherhood is all about love.

Motherhood

It is Wednesday and my week is going well. Punx. Phil determined 6 more weeks of winter... I think I can manage. =0) Audrey's Dr. appt went well on Monday. The Dr. said next week should be the last appt that we need to travel to San Diego, the rest can be in San Marcos. Why do we have to drive 45 minutes to San Diego every week? Because if they need to do surgery, she's already at the hospital, no extra transportation required. Translation: It's more convenient for the Dr.s if she's already at the hospital. Nevermind the fact that our drive would only be 15 minutes instead of 45 for a visit that only takes 5-10 minutes once the Dr actually enters the room. Next week I get to take the girls on my own. These past visits I had Rob come along so that way if they had to reset her leg, he could be with her. I can't be in the x-ray lab. This next week the Dr said that the bones are entering the "sticky" phase. They'll have a good idea of how things will heal by Mon. This is craziness.

Rob and I were talking last night how horrible a parent feels when their child gets hurt. Basically how you feel that you failed in your job to protect them. You go through all the what-if scenarios beating yourself up because of something that happened that was really out of your control. One of the joys of parenthood.

The other night we watched the movie, Motherhood, with Uma Thurman. It's pretty realistic, and I'm sure many can sympathize if you've lived in NYC. It's a good movie, portraying the reality of being a stay-home mom, I just wasn't in the mood for reality. That said, it has made me think... what does motherhood mean to me? How do I look at motherhood?

Speaking of which- one of mine just woke up... have to finish this later. =0)