We had Audrey's Dr. appt yesterday. After reviewing the x-rays, which looks like last weeks, (BUT with some new bone growth!!) the P.A. determined that surgery will more than likely NOT happen. =0) Also- we don't have to go back for 2 weeks, AND we can go to the San Marcos office! Boy did I like hearing that news. The only part I worry about is they have to remove the current cast, take x-rays, then depending on how those x-rays look, put on a new cast- maybe shorter, maybe the same. So probably another month of wearing a cast. (Boy was that a nasty break!)
My last post I asked the question what does motherhood mean to me. I have thought about it quite a bit. There is the generic answer of sleepless nights, comforting sadness, cleaning messes, etc. But then there is the deeper joy. It's your eyes tearing up watching the amazement on your little girls face when they watch Tinkerbell fly across the sky. It's enduring through your own heartache when you can't prevent a painful accident from happening. Motherhood is becoming a protective "mama bear" before you even know what the baby looks like or what sex the baby is. Motherhood, it's sacrificing yourself so that you can make your children's lives better. It's putting your selfish desires on hold, while you let your little one's desires be fulfilled.
I have had to listen to my mother struggle in dealing with caring for my sister as my sister deals with cancer. The anguish and turmoil that she faces with the slight possibility that her daughter could depart before her. I have watched, for a few years now, as my mother has tried to deal with another daughter who refuses to acknowledge who her real family is. These trials placed upon a mother are difficult to bear, and yet day after day, mothers around the world are fighting the fight. Why? Because there is something that happens to your soul when this tiny little being enters your world. You want nothing more than their happiness and well-being. It is a difficult road, not always appreciated. But the rewards you receive from your children, those are the moments you treasure. I have often wondered why my mother doesn't just let my sister go (the one that ignores us) but then I realize that would be impossible. This is her baby. This is her little girl. No matter how much hatred is thrown at you by your children, you take it. Why? Because you love them. Because you can't bear the thought of not having them, not creating any more memories with them. It's the hope that things will change and that love will overcome. It's the hope that maybe this year things will change. And who knows- maybe it will.
Last night I watched as my five year old made a card for her Daddy. It was a priceless moment. I also saw my three year old trying so hard to make her card perfect. How frustrating it was for her to be bound by the limited abilities of her age and experience. But the cards they made, those are the cards I love the most. Those are the moments you treasure forever. Those are the moments that make being a mother a great title. It really all comes down to love. Motherhood is all about love.
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